


Our past isn't our future.

by Iamsuperconfused



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Agreeing on Kids, Day 5, Discussing Kids, Discussion of Abortion, F/F, Sanvers Week
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-14
Updated: 2019-02-14
Packaged: 2019-10-28 08:59:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17784434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iamsuperconfused/pseuds/Iamsuperconfused
Summary: 3x02 fix it: A talk about kid in which Sanvers ends up agreeing.Unedited/Unbeta-ed like a fool.





	Our past isn't our future.

**Author's Note:**

> The decision to have or not have kids is a deeply personal one that should be respected and this fic isn't about Maggie having made a bad choice in the TV show and it's more about me stabbing the CW about how they handled her character.

Maggie flops down in the bed in Alex’s apartment and she stares at the ceiling, fixating on the light fixture above the bed. Her fiancée isn’t supposed to be home for another hour, not on this kind of day where hell breaks loose all over the place.

“I’ve never seen myself as a mom” She mimics herself from earlier that day. “What the fuck was that about?” Maggie mumbles to herself. She’s about to fall asleep when the door swings open and Alex comes in.

“Maggie?” Alex calls, the door closing behind her. 

“I’m on the bed.” her voice cracks at that moment. 

“Are you okay?” Alex joins her, with her boots and jacket still on. 

“No, no I’m really not.” Maggie’s voice shakes and trembles. 

“What happened?” Alex sits right next to her on the bed, petting her hair. 

“The kids talk.” She runs her hand down her face.

“That got you worried too, huh?” Now it’s Alex’s turn to struggle to keep her voice steady. 

“Yeah. And I sort of lied.” a soft frown touch her features.

“About what?” She shed the leather jacket and drop it on the floor.

“About never imagining myself as a mom.” She clear her throat. “I panicked when you brought it up, I didn’t think the middle of a crisis zone was a good place to talk about this kind of shit.” 

“Is now a good time to talk for you?” Her fingers intertwine and twist in repeated pattern. 

“I gave a kid up for adoption.” Maggie lift her fist off the bed and let it fall.

“Woah, okay.” She keep her response dim and soft, she keeps playing with the luxurious mane of hair, leaving featherlight touches over Maggie’s forehead. “I’m going to fix us drinks, shut my phone off and make sure we’re not getting bothered.”  

“Need time to decide if you’re just dumping me or is it because you need to be drunk to deal with this mess?” Maggie points to herself. 

“I just need a bit of time to process and decide which question I’m going to ask.” Alex place a soft kiss on the tip of her own finger and press them to Maggie’s cheek. She goes to the kitchen and start working on the drinks.

Maggie joins her a few minutes later, wrapping her arm around Alex from behind, pressing her face against her back. “I’m sorry. Can you just come back to bed? I don’t want us to drink for this.” 

Alex tense and exhale loudly, she pushes her drinks away, she opens the fridge and pull out two bottle of water. “Fine, let’s do that.” 

 

* * *

 

They both lay in bed, a feet apart, but their hand touching gently. Maggie speaks up first. “I suppose you’re mad I didn’t bring it up before?” 

Alex roll her eyes and sigh. “No, but I know you’re angry and I’d like to know what about?” 

“This isn’t something I ever wanted to talk about.” Maggie close her eyes and grip Alex’s hand. “I failed a kid worse than my own parents failed me.” She take a deep breath. “I’m being forced to open up some pretty bad wounds or else I’m going to lose everything.” 

Alex squeeze Maggie’s hand back, bringing it up to her lips to kiss it. “I promise you that me, Kara and my mom aren’t going to judge you for giving your child up in adoption.” 

“Yeah, I suppose.” she kiss Alex’s hand in turn. “What do you want to know?” 

“Why did you give her in adoption?” 

“I was 19, the dad didn’t want a kid and I wasn’t going to be able to give her anything but misery.” she takes a deep breath.”You’re literally the only one who knows it’s a girl aside from me.”

Alex clears her throat. “The dad sound like a charmer.” 

“He wasn’t so bad, I’m gay, in case you’re wondering. I just wasn’t sure back then.” she takes a deep breath. “I’m sure the doctor in you’s asking why I didn’t abort?” 

“I happen to realize you were raised in a pretty conservative environment and that this was probably something you did not want  to do?” Alex hazard a guess.

Maggie smiles. “Something like that, plus I wasn’t exactly in a place where I could do it easily.” 

“Are you afraid something like that will happen again?” 

“Maybe, I think it’s more that I feel like shit I couldn’t raise her, trying with another one just feels like I’m…” she takes a deep sigh, not finishing her trail of thought.

“Do you know anything about where she ended up? Does she know she’s adopted?” 

“I know she’s with a family of black kids back in New York, so I’m positive she knows.” Maggie chuckles a little bit. 

“So, You did what you could with what you had at the time, Maggie.” Alex kiss her cheek. “You didn’t fail her,  you made a sacrifice for her and that’s what parenting is about, as far as I understand it 

“I… if I can get my head out of my ass Danvers, think we could maybe adopt? I don’t think I could handle being pregnant again or you on hormone.” She poke her tongue out at Alex. 

“I think adopting would work best. Is it really something you’d be willing to do? You wouldn’t be doing it just because I want to be a mom?” 

“That’s the getting my head out of my ass part.” she kiss Alex’s cheek. “Do you think you can wait a while? I … I think I might actually need therapy.”

Alex nods. “I wasn’t planning for it to happen this year, but, I’ll wait until you’re ready.” 

“Help me find a therapist?” 

“As weird as this sounds, I don’t think I’ve heard a sweeter thing.” 


End file.
